Are you struggling with your Business and Family life balance? The real problem maybe more straight forward then you think?
You do have to decide what you want to achieve!
I understand that may sound simple. In your business or family life get it clear where you want your story to head. After all, you make important decisions every single day. You also change your mind daily; it’s the normal pattern of things.
Some decisions will not impact your life forever, while others will. When you are definite on your long-term decisions, it gives you clarity. In today’s world of uncertainty, to lead a growing business and growing family, your true north has to be definite decisions. If you want to start on your journey, you must start with a definite decision as to where you want your journey to end.
Every day, you will be faced with decisions that can, and will, write your story. The decision to have or not have children is clearly one that will form the basis of your ‘big story’. Today many couples aren’t having children as young as previous generations. The traditional or ‘old school’ family unit is no longer the norm. Or you may already have a successful business, and are now considering introducing children into the story. Or maybe you are deciding not to have kids at all. Either way, make a definite decision. Deciding to make no decision is the worst decision of all.
I have seen many business owners struggle with the definite part of the decision-making process. Typically, if you come out with, ‘what if I change my mind?’, you definitely will decide to change your mind.
Many things in life are negotiable, other key elements should never be negotiated away. Challenging your own thinking to give you the clarity you need is the starting point.
There is a correct process that helps us make those definite decisions. Deciding what outcomes, you want and don’t want to achieve becomes a very powerful tool in the decision-making process going forward. When you have decided where you are heading long term it gives clarity to the decisions you make every day.
Step #1 Give yourself a “timeout”.
Deliberately give yourself time out of the game to think it out. This can be 10 minutes or 2 months depending on “size’ of the decision.
Step #2 Inspect the Decision.
What is the “Real long term outcome you are trying to achieve. What are you uncertain about? What is “real” and what is only a movie in your own head?
Step # 3 Brain storm options.
If you need external information, then do your homework. Be patient and careful with those you get advice from. Make sure it is professional advice, not just a mate’s opinion. Be open to the information but make up your own mind if you want to take that advice on board.
Step # 4 Evaluate.
This seems to be the bit most people DON” T do. They free fall even after they have the full story. Too scared to decide. Be brave, buy into your vision. Use the logic, not the fear to make your decisions, then make it.
Step# 5 Be pragmatic. Clear the fog.
Put aside other people agenda’s. Disregard the gossip or what maybe be the “nice” thing to do. The question is “What long term outcome are you planning to achieve? Now you just must decide and stick to your decision.
“The future belongs to the brave, so you might as well be brave.” Robert James
All the bad decisions you have made in the past are what create uncertainty. I’ll bet you have mind files full of all the dumb decisions you have made.
That white Camry you bought back in 1994, you thought was sensible at the time. Now, with hindsight you realise it was a very boring car. Maybe you can remember when you invested all your savings into the stock market, the day before the biggest crash in history. How about the ‘Ab Blaster’ you bought on the late-night shopping channel that sits unused at the back of your wardrobe? Even the person you married, who turned out to be a bigger fraud than the ‘Ab Blaster’, more boring than the Camry and way more expensive than the stock market crash?
Everyone makes poor decisions, especially with hindsight. You can learn from your mistakes, evaluate them, understand your thought process at the time, and then learn from them. The past can give you clarity on the future, if you learn and then move on.
I guarantee you have made more successful decisions than unsuccessful ones. But, the pain of a bad decision captures your attention quicker than the joy of a great decision. I personally have seen the birth of my five beautiful children; these were the five most amazing days in my life. Each time, I was overwhelmingly humbled to be given the honour of being this beautiful new person’s father. Nothing has ever been more inspiring to me than that gift. To this day, I am still amazed that I was given this great privilege of being the Dad to five awesome individuals. I do remember all of their births, but I have to admit some of the details are vague. (There were five of them?) I very clearly remember how I felt.
That terrifying day when I watched my only daughter Nadine suffer that horrible cardiac arrest right in front of my eyes is also forever embedded in my mind – every detail, every thought, every terrifying second of the 15 minutes it took the ambulance officers to start her heart again.
Fear is a very strong force within us. The adrenaline that hits our brain when we believe we are fighting for survival gives us near super powers, and these memories are stored for future reference, just in case. My mind is determined to never find me in that horrifying position again.
Also, beware of whose opinions you listen to. If you want everyone to agree with your definite decisions then you are going to very disappointed – it will never happen. It is actually the exact opposite: the grander your definite decisions are, the more people will be telling you that you can’t achieve them – even having a child and running your own business. How many people will tell you how hard it is and all the things that will go wrong? They have their own agendas to keep you where you are.
Ignore the naysayers. Make your own definite decisions for your business and family life, and then act on them with conviction.
Coauthor of the Best Selling Fit For Purpose #1